TGD Alternate Oscars: The Award for Best Facial Reactions Goes to … Halle Berry in “Kidnap”!


Oh shit, Halle Berry is behind the wheel, everyone get off the road!

Kevin: The interminable Hollywood awards season is finally drawing to a close with the Oscars this weekend, with “The Shape of Water” and “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” expected to hear their names called out the most that night. However, Tough Guy Digest this week would like to recognize some films and performances that will absolutely not be picking up any statues on Sunday, and yet in their own way provided us with a lot of entertainment in 2017. First up is Halle Berry for her performance as a desperate single mother who, in the course of trying to rescue her son, causes slightly fewer potentially deadly car accidents than Halle Berry has in real life, in “Kidnap”:

In my review last year, I called “Kidnap” easily the worst film of 2017, although that was before I sat down and watched “The Snowman.” But while the Michael Fassbender Nordic murder mystery was one of the most bizarrely incomprehensible films I’ve seen in ages due to the fact that they apparently weren’t able to film up to 40 percent of the script, they still at least had enough material to fill out two hours, while even with obvious padding “Kidnap” barely meets the standards for a theatrically released feature at 75 minutes. It’s mainly a one-location thriller that depends on the charisma and acting chops of Halle Berry to pull it through; so yeah, obviously you can see the problem here.

But while we can all agree that Berry is not the world’s best actress (especially considering how many people have stumbled on to our review of the film after doing a search for some variation on “Halle Berry terrible actress” or “Halle Berry worst actress”), at least “Kidnap” gives her the opportunity to provide some truly award-worthy reaction shots throughout the film, such as:


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This shot was apparently so compelling they used it twice.

Obviously that wasn’t enough to get her an invite to the Dolby Theatre this weekend, but if nothing else Berry showed more facial expressions in “Kidnap” than she has in all her X-Men movies combined. And either way, we are all safer with Berry behind the wheel in movies than in reality:


Use your signal before changing lanes next time Halle!

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