Kevin: If for some reason you bought a 2020 calendar really early and haven’t had any important events to add to it, Warner Brothers is helping you out by announcing two new DC comic book movies for that year: the creatively titled “Untitled DC Film” set for February 14, and the less creatively titled “Untitled DC Film” on June 5. Now we all agree that first scheduling a date for a film several years in the future before having an idea of what it is about or who will write or direct it or even if audiences will give a shit by then is the absolute best way to make a movie, so my question is: which “Untitled DC Film” are you more excited about?
Now I would normally say that scheduling the second one in the heart of the summer movie season – and on the same weekend that “Wonder Woman” recently launched – indicates that the studio is very confident about the quality of this so far completely hypothetical film. But I’m also intrigued that the first one opens on Valentine’s Day; what sort of star-crossed romantic themes could this one have that would make it appropriate for a weekend usually reserved for Nicholas Sparks adaptations? So as a comic book movie that both my wife and I can – but probably won’t – enjoy, “Untitled DC Film” (the first one) is already on my Most Anticipated of 2020 list.
Also, do we have any guesses as to what these films will be about? I’m guessing neither is a “Flash” sequel, as that one has been delayed so many times that Billy Crudup had to be recast as Flash’s dad due to scheduling conflicts, which will be especially weird since he shows up in the trailer for “Justice League.” Now I know this is crazy, but perhaps Warner Brothers should hold off a little more until that superhero team-up comes out to see if audiences actually like Ezra Miller’s take on the character enough to warrant his own film (this will be his introduction for many viewers who still have no idea that was supposed to be the Flash in one of Bruce’s many dream sequences in “Batman v. Superman.”)
Either way, in addition to the two unnamed DC films, in 2020 we are also getting a “Cyborg” spin-off and a “Green Lantern Corps” that Tyrese will probably not be starring in even though no one apparently wants to tell him. Apparently like any good degenerate gambler, Warner Brothers has looked at all the recent indications at the box office that audiences are suffering franchise fatigue and decided to double down on FOUR franchise comic movies in the span of a few months. And we all know that once a studio announces a date for a film then that’s as good as gold, which is why I can’t wait for the previously announced “Baywatch 2,” “Fantastic Four 2,” and every planned entry in Universal’s Dark Universe.
Actually now that I think about it, I’m guessing the June 5 movie will be “Wonder Woman 2.” Of course it could also be Joss Whedon’s “Batgirl.” Or “Suicide Squad 2.” Or David Ayer’s “Suicide Squad” spin-off. Or I could just put myself into a medically induced coma for most of 2020.
Mike: Superhero movies haven’t been good since “Batman Returns,” especially since Batman was murdering people left and right and the pathetic principle that a superhero can’t take a human life wasn’t even on anyone’s radar. Michael Keaton’s Batman literally lit a guy on fire just to do it. The man posed absolutely no threat to him or the Batmobile, but he lit his ass up and drove off to leave the good citizens of Gotham to sweep up his ashes.
I can’t stand the way they are now. I’m instituting a full boycott on any and all superhero films starting immediately. For the record this boycott does not include movies I download illegally off the internet.
Kevin: Yeah one of my favorite moments in any of the Batman films was him burning a guy to death whose main offense appeared to be that he was kind of annoying. Maybe it’s later but I also seemed to remember Keaton giving off a little smirk, as if Batman was quietly pleased with himself for coming up with such an ironic death on the fly like that.
I definitely don’t remember everyone being up in arms that Batman killed a few people in that, whereas I’m not looking forward to the comic book crowd continuing to angrily shout that “Batman doesn’t kill people!” Because killing is immoral, but dispensing severe and permanent bodily injury and brain damage to criminals and even innocent cops that get in Batman’s way is perfectly fine I guess. If Bruce Wayne was changed into a transgender Latina Muslim it would be hailed as an overdue update of the character, but apparently the one thing that can’t be changed about Batman is his “no killing” policy, even though it’s stupid and gets way more people killed in the long run since Arkham Asylum is easier to escape from than a Chuck E. Cheese ball pit.
I think we all agree that this whole no killing thing is the lamest aspect of Batman. You know who else had a no killing policy? Jeff Speakman in “The Perfect Weapon.” Is that who you want to emulate?
There is plenty to complain about in “Batman v Superman,” but one of the things I found refreshing is that we got an older Batman who is obviously sick of coming up with new ways to gently tie up psychotic criminals who are trying to murder him every chance they get. At my age I’d have no moral quandaries about killing a fellow moviegoer who was texting in a theater, so I’m certainly not going to begrudge Batman for blowing up a bunch of assholes who are shooting at him if it means he can get home sooner and finish binge-watching his favorite Netflix show.
Before we conclude, do you have any thoughts CJ?
CJ: I think this about sums up the gist of this discussion: